Doubtfully yours

am i the only one who lacks direction or is it true for u too
am i the only one who seeks shelter or is it common too

do u search for your identity just as i do?
do u look out for signs the way i do?

is it just me who knows not the way life is leading ?
or do u know everything that u do?

can u define what the mirror says to u?
do u actually know the person in there?

do u trust the plans laid for you?
do u believe what has been taught to u?

do u still think he's listening up there?
do u actually think someone's up there?

i wish i could answer myself, figure things out
but i still have that skill, i doubt.
it has been long since i trusted myself
has it happened with you too????

Welcome to the jungle

Sometimes I wonder why do things and people change change beyond recognisation. is it so that nothing ever is reliable or is there something that u can bank on. something ..anything???? something that u can take for granted, something that u can lean back on?

i guess there is nothing that u should rely on. love it, enjoy it, bask on...till it lasts. u never know when suddenly the sets change, when every thing moves on.

i have seen the closest of frenz go apart. sometimes its lack of time, sometimes its change of priorities, sometimes its lack of inclination to sort out things. things just pile up and up, but the end result is same, u have fewer things that u know would last for sometime. does everything in life comes with an expiry date??? sometimes u can read the date, sometimes u can't. but u r being naive if u think that its going to stay. Nothing lasts forever... this should be the first lesson in school.

the only person who stays with u forever is the one in mirror. u come alone in this world, u leave alone. along the path, u meet people and u believe that they are walking with u. but its not so, its just that u are going the same way for sometime. as soon as the reason to walk together would not be there, u would change the path. no regrets, no guilts, only pain for some time. nobody is guilty, none is wrong, its just the way of life. "All men to themselves".

Man is a social animal, my social science taught me when i was a kid. Social or not, man still is an animal. Live your life, your own way. Welcome to the jungle!!!!

Kitna badal gaya insaan

ek matka kulfi... bought from amul .. and to my amazement instead of the mitti ka matka it was a plastic one. colored in earth colors... not that i am one particular enviromentalist.. but still it led me to thinking how far we have come..
today is rakhi as well.. a day traditionally celebrated with enthusiasm and demands and anticipation. I remember when we were kids my brother and I used to fight a lot... on why should only i get a gift on rakhi... this day used to be so special... now that we are far away... we are in separate offices and cities.. working for money and not bothering ab't many other so called smaller things...
just some year back when i was in school.. i used to send rakhi to all cousins and uncle. writing well being letters..even if just the formal ones and then calling up to know whether my rakhi reached on time... man..things have changed. though i still send the rakhi to my first cousins, the number of cousins expecting and getting has reduced. from a thing that had no questions on whos gonna get it..it has become a thing of choice.
and worse still... readymade rakhi.. no pains.. no issues.. nothing.. just book it online ..121...151..anything and they'll send it on ur behalf the traditional tika and naariyal attached. the only thing missing , perhaps the feelings... emotions and personal touch... but who cares for uncountable things???! guess we have come to paisa faik tamasha dekh age... u can buy anything...
from pickles like ur mom.. to dhol and shahnaai ki CD for ur wedding.. and morning chants of gayatri mantra... sab readymade..... no trouble.. no guilt...
i guess still i do get nostalgic sometimes.. i still don't think that anyone can beat my mom when it comes to samose.. i still can't believe that the tel-maalish sessions of gappe and head massage can be given by anyone other than my roomies... and that i think sending this e-rakhi is worse than sending no rakhi at all... atleast u don't fool urself that u have done ur part.

Choosing the lesser evil

After a lot of thinking and a bit of analysis (with some surveys supporting me) I came to this conclusion that we Indians are perhaps more emotional and sentimental than many other races. We have too strong emotions to cater the love need of just our close ones. We need to find someone to shower them on. Someone to bask in our love and affection.
Indian cricket team has almost always been the most pampered (and if I may add, without hurting too many sentiments... spoilt) child of Indian mass. We love them, treat them like Gods, praise them, idolize them and if they dare (which they often) lose we do not mind burning effigies and their homes. We cannot accept cricket as just another game. I have given up hope on this scenario changing during my life time... come any number of world cups...
But the Indian love needs more than just Indian cricket team. The next close contenders were Tulsi, Parvati, Prerna.... aka Ekta Kapoor. We cry when they cry, we laugh at their joys. We recognise the characters by their screen names. The greatest thing about these serials is that the things do not change much, even if you watch after 6 months, only the number of foiled attempts by vamps varied. But now as producers and channels have increased many folds, it is too much to keep track of all the available saas and bahu. Imagine the difficulty when the ladies in the club watch different soaps. How do they discuss the plight of our common famous Tulsi????
Now the times have changed (don't worry, just a bit) now we have the power. Ab Hindustan ki janata faisala karegi hindustan ki awaz ka seems to be the trend now. With atleast 3 popular voice based and voting based serials high on TRP, this seems to be the latest mantra. Now the topic of discussion revolves around "Who should be eliminated and who would be eliminated". We now watch the programmes to see how "My Contestant" performed. We cry with joy as the judges praise our favorite one, we cry in despair when they are eliminated. These now seem to be a part of daily life. My flat mates as well as my mom correct me when I mix up the contestants in these 3 serials, Indian Idol, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa and Voice of India. So much for my bad memory. You cannot eat your dinner without listening to these melodious voices (grrrr...). I don't know whether contestant popular with junta wins or you can change the things slightly by money. Really not sure. But knowing by the number of votes polled in all the three serials, I can make one thing out..."India Shining". We have too much money to spend on SMS and calls.
Though I do not relate much to the Saas-Bahu saga as well as Aapki Aawaz-Aapka Faisla trend, somehow I prefer the latter one. Atleast you get to hear nice songs once in a while, plus you ain't forced to think how evil one might plan. And may be, just may be... one day we will understand the importance of voting in our elections as well. May be, one day we will be as passionate and enthusiastic about the future of country as we are about the future of these contestants. May be....
Amen!!!

EmbarrassedIndians

Hi.. Are you from India?
Yes.. And you? Which part?
I'm from Delhi? You?
Pune..

And the whole conversation can continue in a language other than ours for hours without realizing so...
Why is it so that we Indians are always embarrassed of our identity? That we are the ones to hide the fact that we are Indians as much as we can? Why is it so that so many foreign models can have interpretors on the world ramp, but an Indian model cannot reach there unless she has decent polished Western English accent? Why do we treat anything Western as "To be copied"? Why do we think that those who cannot speak in English are unpolished and unworthy? Why do we rate ourselves as Second Rate Citizens?

We are the ones who would praise anything and anybody as long as it is not ours. We follow all the rules of any country other than ours and then say Indians donot follow rules. Asked to express our views about India we say India is poor, Indians are illeterate, places are polluted and people are superstitious. As if we ain't a part of it. As if we would be judged as someone who is not related to it. We fail to mention that we are a part of the oldest culture. That when West was hunting in woods, India was teaching at Taksheela. That India is one of the fastest growing economies of the world. That India has given world basics of arithmetics and art. We casually forget Gandhi, Tagore and C V Raman.

We don't realize one thing. We are what we are "Indians" and that is what we would be judged on. There is no point in hiding yourself. Unless there is self respect, there cannot be respect from any other quarter.