Something Stupid.... like I love you

What happens when you apply force on a soft wood... it bends... and when you put some more force... it bends some more ...and more.... untill it breaks...

Women have always been considered as the softer one...you apply force and she bends... and you apply a bit more force.... knowing you can bend her more.

From the stern commnads in past to gentler suggestions now... tone may change and format may change... intent doesn't.... she is supposed to bear and endure in silence.

You expect her to take care of the family, nurture and care for her children, while you enjoy your life. Men ain't supposed to balance kids and work. Maintaining the house is what a woman marries, not her man. Children are primarily her responsibility, even though she might be juggling a career as well. And in cases, when she is not financially independent, she is at your mercy. She will take care of the house, children, be a full time housekeeper and nanny..yet she "doesn't do anything".

In some cases, men assume that they also get the right to abuse her physically and mentally... insult her in front of her children... undermine her worth and self respect in every way.... make her pity herself every day... feel proud that he is the master of the house...the bread winner... the Man.
She is stabbed every day...by words...by actions... by arrogance. She evaluates her situation every day... wonders what her fault is... thinks what she can do to annoy you less.... untill one day... she breaks...... and then you label her "weak".

I'm alive!!!

If a policeman calls you and a thief calls you, who would you rather go to? Or would feel safer? The answer should be an impulsive one in favor of police, apparently it is not. When this was asked from a few friends of mine. Answer wasn't thief either. It was more disturbing, it was "how does it matter anyway". Thief will behave as a cop, he knows he has nothing to lose while you do. And the police....

I often pose the idealistic, naive blind optimist. And quite truly I don't have any first hand experience either (Thank God for that). If you have lost a mobile, they don't write an FIR, what can you do? Yeah its a law...they have to. But like many other things that have to be done, but ain't, it might not be. So do you have any friend in media or higher in the police to raise this up? No you don't. Assume that they do write a complaint. They might use the word "lost" instead of "stolen", would you be in a state of mind to notice this? Or would you doubt what they have written after you have given the description of incident. You may not. For uninitiated people, things lost are not as severe incident as stolen ones. They don't look that bad on police records. And lost things cannot claimed for an insurance. Assume that they tell you that they have some suspects in custody. Would you go and identify him? When police tells that they have no responsibility of your safety after that.

Yes, we should. Yes, unless we did that there won't be any change. Yes, we can't live our lives in fear. But,we are afraid. We are afraid of police, of thieves, of lawyers, of diplomats, of media, of everybody. We are afraid of biking on metro roads... those who take cycle riksha or cycle or even bikes are most likely to be run over. We are afraid of arguing with a cop, no matter who is on the right side of law. We are afraid of raising voice against seniors at work place. We are afraid of going to Kashmir or Assam, our own land lest some terrorists will kill us. We can not move freely in the night in our cities or fight back if someone hits a child or helpless person in front of us. We are silent victim or witnesses of eve-teasing. We are all one scared lot... Scared with every living breath... scared for every living breath.

Is there too much point in living this way? When all things that we have... money..relations..health don't let us sleep in peace or force us to live a chicken's life? Kill conscience to let the body live? Is this actually being alive? Is it actually worth it?? Ain't we all guilty in spreading this poisoned air of distrust and fear by not fighting against it???

Blowing in the wind

Three random news were in the newspaper recently:

Shahrukh "Khan" stopped for "security" check at Newark airport. Apparently they don't like "Khan" surname. Whole media and politicians and friends and foes of anybody giving their piece of mind on the matter. Ambika Soni, minister in GOI, says we need to give "tit for tat". A few days earlier, our former president A P J Abdul Kalam was frisked by continental airlines, which is a breach of protocol. But thats okay. He did not raise a fuss over it. Afterall!!!


A minister in India went inside a tiger's cage in nagpur zoo and petted and fondled a visibly terrified cub. All this right in front of the zoo officials and all the media people. He was accompanied by Nagpur Congress chief Jaiprakash Gupta and several others including zoo controller M M Damke and officer-incharge of the zoo Dr S S Bawaskar. Thorat had a glimpse of deer and peacock enclosures and then headed to see the tiger cubs. Though initially hesitant, Thorat was encouraged by the zoo officials to take a closer look and opened the gates for him. Guess, the zoo oficials were there to protect and please minister instead of animals.


Rock legend, Bob Dylan, stopped and questioned by officers unaware of his identity. He was asked for his ID proof, which he didnt have handy. The officers asked Dylan, 68, to accompany them back to the Ocean Place Resort and Spa, where the other performers were staying. Once there, tour staff vouched for Dylan.


I wonder if we have too used to being "above law". If the celebrities and politicians with one bit fame or power and not even worth two penny start thinking themselves as VVIP, for whom the world should have a garland ready for every occasion. Whether it be security rules or general courtesy or any other fundamental road rule it becomes inapplicable for those with power. Why.. even the Gods wait for them... they can get special back entry to Tirupati balaji while common men wait in long queues to get one glimpse.


Probably, our system, where corruption and power play is evident at every step is to blame. Broke traffic signal... 100 bucks for the traffic policeman, no ticket in railway ... but your uncle is the local MLA... need to get your kid admitted to the posh public school... see if you can arrange the donation for the "maintenance funds". And then our fixation with idolizing people and an attitude of mix and match. Everything is allowed to influence everything else... politicians bail filmstars out of troubled drug deal or "unfriendly US cop". Filmstars dance at their private parties and add the glamour.


I wonder if some day we will realise that not everything is okay... that not everything is fixable.... that you are not above all laws or rules... that no matter who you are .... you still are a homo sapiens sharing the planet. I guess... the answer is blowing in the wind....

And it really doesn't matter at all

Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a God.

Another blast in Delhi, one killed, 18 injured.... and many more to follow. My reaction, I just call up those I care for in Delhi , tell them about the blasts, ask them to stay in and watch the news. I wish that people who I know and I can't connect to are safe. I am not bothered too much about all those I don't know.

Its not that I am unsympathetic towards the blast victims. I am sure if I see someone or hear about someone I am going to feel sad. But other than that its just numbers. And numbers baffle me. X number of blasts in one Indian city. Y number of such cities. Z number of casualties in each of the blasts. After some time, its going to fade from my memory, precedence taken by some piece of crap. May be new MTV Roadies or may be office work or may be some good shopping offer. Yeah life moves on... It always does.

Have we accepted terror, violence ,death and injury as a part of life. Do we now think that insanity and irrationality will always be there. We just hope, wish or rather BELIEVE that its not gonna happen to us. That my near ones and I are always going to be lucky enough never to get caught in the chaos. And rest is all fine. Its fine as long as its not happening to you. Is it indifference, callousness, helplessness or inhumanity. I have seen some animal species gather and fight against a more powerful enemy to save each other. Yeah we ain't animals any more.

Its not that i can do anything about it. Its not that I can do anything about anything in general. I can just wish, hope and do the utterly trivial things. Things that are good, but of such small size that they do not matter. Its like clearing the way for an ant to carry sugar in the midst of riots or an approaching cyclone. Does saving power mean anything when we can't save lives. What difference does it make if city streets are clean or not, when the minds are not? But then... keep up the good work ;)

Give me a reason

Its one of those days... well...those means those when I can't avoid thinking.

I have been wondering for some time now, what differentiates one person from another. Certainly, their intelligence, hard work, capabilities, attitude does. And being a great Ayn Rand fan, I do want to believe that you get to make your destiny... that you are not bound by circumstances... that except for what is within you, nothing else matters. But now I am forced to think if it is actually so?

I watched "Slumdog Millionaire" recently and saw the ground reality. Not that I was unaware totally, but somehow I could close my eyes... everytime. It hurt initially when I saw Mumbai slums, but two years of stay at M'bai and I could deal with it. I went to a poor area in Delhi (call it slum) recently and the cocoon that I had built around myself was shattered. There were kids running around, laughing, giggling, playing in mud.. unaware and careless. There were parents also laughing and giggling... unaware and careless, that they have kids somewhere. That there are humans struggling for scarce resources of planet.. food and compassion, humans who are here because they brought them to life, humans they should be accountable for... their kids. And yet no body cares.

I am sure that among these kids there would be hundreds who are far more intelligent and sharp than me and all of them are certainly much more hard working. Yet, I work in an air conditioned office while they beg on streets. Why? I don't think it can be solely due to attitude. Is it possible for someone who has 5 siblings, a drunkard father and hapless mother to see life as we see it? If you have always seen violence and cruelty as a way to resolve things, does there remain a way for you to see things otherwise? If you have never been told importance of education, can you just pick this up one fine day and get degrees? If you have to wonder whether you are getting the next meal or not, can you worry about books and pen? I guess not. Its just luck by chance. Where you are born decides quite a lot of things on earth.

We crib that the meal was not good, missed a movie, shoe of my size is not available. While there are kids there, who do not know if they are eating tonight or not. Or if they would be beaten again. Doesn't our cause of worry seem really trivial. But this is how life on earth is designed. Not fair. Not fair at all!!!