I'm alive!!!

If a policeman calls you and a thief calls you, who would you rather go to? Or would feel safer? The answer should be an impulsive one in favor of police, apparently it is not. When this was asked from a few friends of mine. Answer wasn't thief either. It was more disturbing, it was "how does it matter anyway". Thief will behave as a cop, he knows he has nothing to lose while you do. And the police....

I often pose the idealistic, naive blind optimist. And quite truly I don't have any first hand experience either (Thank God for that). If you have lost a mobile, they don't write an FIR, what can you do? Yeah its a law...they have to. But like many other things that have to be done, but ain't, it might not be. So do you have any friend in media or higher in the police to raise this up? No you don't. Assume that they do write a complaint. They might use the word "lost" instead of "stolen", would you be in a state of mind to notice this? Or would you doubt what they have written after you have given the description of incident. You may not. For uninitiated people, things lost are not as severe incident as stolen ones. They don't look that bad on police records. And lost things cannot claimed for an insurance. Assume that they tell you that they have some suspects in custody. Would you go and identify him? When police tells that they have no responsibility of your safety after that.

Yes, we should. Yes, unless we did that there won't be any change. Yes, we can't live our lives in fear. But,we are afraid. We are afraid of police, of thieves, of lawyers, of diplomats, of media, of everybody. We are afraid of biking on metro roads... those who take cycle riksha or cycle or even bikes are most likely to be run over. We are afraid of arguing with a cop, no matter who is on the right side of law. We are afraid of raising voice against seniors at work place. We are afraid of going to Kashmir or Assam, our own land lest some terrorists will kill us. We can not move freely in the night in our cities or fight back if someone hits a child or helpless person in front of us. We are silent victim or witnesses of eve-teasing. We are all one scared lot... Scared with every living breath... scared for every living breath.

Is there too much point in living this way? When all things that we have... money..relations..health don't let us sleep in peace or force us to live a chicken's life? Kill conscience to let the body live? Is this actually being alive? Is it actually worth it?? Ain't we all guilty in spreading this poisoned air of distrust and fear by not fighting against it???

Its just a thought

Today some children were playing "Musical Chair". Its a game where one person plays the music and all others run around chairs put in a large circle. The number of players running is one more than the number of chairs, when the music stops you grab the next chair in front of you. One person who could not find a chair is out. The game continues until there is just one person who could get chair in all the cycles. This player wins. Ideally in the game, you ain't supposed to go back to a chair. You can only run towards a chair in front of you. However, if you are just a few steps ahead of a chair when the music stops there is a tendency to go back. To some extent it is okay. If I quote chilren "itni si cheating allowed hai"... or This much cheating is allowed. Funny, isn't it? We know its cheating, yet to some extent its allowed.

I find the same thing in our daily lives. We allow a little bit of cheating in our lives. It okay to jump a few lights if there is no direct immediate harm (and there is no cop around :)); its okay to take just one shot and drive, its fine to lie once in a while about sick leave, its not so bad to buy pirated DVDs or software. We tend to define our own acceptable limits. Our own standards. Often though there are universally laid standards (called laws)... we ignore them, find loopholes or casually avoid them, knowing you can always escape from petty crimes.

I wonder was there ever or would there ever be some universally acceptable line that we would adhere to even when nobody is watching? Who decides what is acceptable and what not when we don't accept the laws? If its okay to buy pirated movies, what makes us shout when some other country patents our basmati or when Amir does not give Chetan Bhagat his due right as story writer in 3 Idiots? Ain't these all infrigement of Intellectual Property Rights (IPR)? If we do not mind below age children(read below 25 in Delhi) to drink once in a while or to buy cigarattes from a shop why do we hate when someone gives them drugs? Isn't it all corruption of young minds? There is a line in Shantaram, saying some people are guided by the amount of sin there is in a crime and depending on the sin value, they can neglect/ do not mind doing the crime. While some others are led by the amount of crime in a sin, i.e.. depending on how much value they can make from the crime associated, they will perform the sin. The first may allow you to bribe a man but not kill him. The sin value of man slaughter is more than slaughter of just the soul. The second way may tempt you to sell drugs instead of selling liquor to children.This is because the crime or money involved is more in first. But you cannot separate the sin and the crime. You always weigh them and decide, how much your conscience (or lack there of) can take.

I wonder if we have all unclear and movable lines, do we actually have a line as well? We ignore the rules based on various unrelated parameters. In that case, is there any rule that we will stick to no matter how much is the profit or loss involved? Would there be a standard when all standards are abolished? Or would we always find a euphemism for doing unethical stuff...like "being professional"? I always believe that having 46 chromosomes or straight thumb doesn't necessarily mean you are human. Would there be some definition of humans based on their character traits and not just physical ones?

Blowing in the wind

Three random news were in the newspaper recently:

Shahrukh "Khan" stopped for "security" check at Newark airport. Apparently they don't like "Khan" surname. Whole media and politicians and friends and foes of anybody giving their piece of mind on the matter. Ambika Soni, minister in GOI, says we need to give "tit for tat". A few days earlier, our former president A P J Abdul Kalam was frisked by continental airlines, which is a breach of protocol. But thats okay. He did not raise a fuss over it. Afterall!!!


A minister in India went inside a tiger's cage in nagpur zoo and petted and fondled a visibly terrified cub. All this right in front of the zoo officials and all the media people. He was accompanied by Nagpur Congress chief Jaiprakash Gupta and several others including zoo controller M M Damke and officer-incharge of the zoo Dr S S Bawaskar. Thorat had a glimpse of deer and peacock enclosures and then headed to see the tiger cubs. Though initially hesitant, Thorat was encouraged by the zoo officials to take a closer look and opened the gates for him. Guess, the zoo oficials were there to protect and please minister instead of animals.


Rock legend, Bob Dylan, stopped and questioned by officers unaware of his identity. He was asked for his ID proof, which he didnt have handy. The officers asked Dylan, 68, to accompany them back to the Ocean Place Resort and Spa, where the other performers were staying. Once there, tour staff vouched for Dylan.


I wonder if we have too used to being "above law". If the celebrities and politicians with one bit fame or power and not even worth two penny start thinking themselves as VVIP, for whom the world should have a garland ready for every occasion. Whether it be security rules or general courtesy or any other fundamental road rule it becomes inapplicable for those with power. Why.. even the Gods wait for them... they can get special back entry to Tirupati balaji while common men wait in long queues to get one glimpse.


Probably, our system, where corruption and power play is evident at every step is to blame. Broke traffic signal... 100 bucks for the traffic policeman, no ticket in railway ... but your uncle is the local MLA... need to get your kid admitted to the posh public school... see if you can arrange the donation for the "maintenance funds". And then our fixation with idolizing people and an attitude of mix and match. Everything is allowed to influence everything else... politicians bail filmstars out of troubled drug deal or "unfriendly US cop". Filmstars dance at their private parties and add the glamour.


I wonder if some day we will realise that not everything is okay... that not everything is fixable.... that you are not above all laws or rules... that no matter who you are .... you still are a homo sapiens sharing the planet. I guess... the answer is blowing in the wind....

Black or White

The question that I am wondering today is about moral policing. Yeah its bad ... who the hell is anyone else to tell me what I am supposed to do with my life, what is morally correct and what is not. Their ethics their principles... well let them take care of it. Don't force them on me. This is against people who try to say that girls should not wear provocative clothes or should not go to discs and bars or those Taaliban people telling that girls are not supposed to get educated.. well... thats correct I did not agree with them all... I read it some where : Values are the tape that we play in the walkman of our minds, any tune is fine as long as it does not disturb others.... someone said it rather well...

But should you never stop anyone from doing anything on moral grounds? I believe that I have too many redundant and outdated ethical values. I do not like it when people use office property for personal use too much. When you make unnecessary personal calls from office. I do not like it when you bribe the police man or the passport agent. I do not like when someone lies to others in order to get some kind of favour. Its not that I have never been tempted to do these. But somehow I could never do something that did not seem correct. I am sure that things that lie in morally grey area for me must be grossly wrong for some others. All of us have some sense of right and wrong, whether we listen to that voice or not is a question. But are you not supposed to stop anyone from doing anything?

If you know that someone is cheating on his wife or her husband are you supposed to stay mum? If you know that someone has sent fake resumes for job or has been lying about his income to the tax officers should you just watch that in silence? Or when you see someone not taking bus ticket or not working in the office or throwing wastes on streets? I know that things often disturb my peace and I have to consciously stop myself from speaking and I don't like it a bit.

If I am allowed to comment on these issues, do I give others a right to comment on my attire as well. There is no defined limit probably, except that use of physical force is not a valid rule of the game. Well guess that means for the time being people can use office phones for personal calls, not buy ticket or yell in public places.. I will not stop them. But I am sure someday my patience will give up and I will wear that moral police uniform!!!!

Too late to apologise

Swine flu.. a new type of flu said to be more dangerous than bird flu.

Isn't it hilarious ( or sad?) that whenever humans conquer one trouble, nature throws another one. It feels like a game between humans and nature, rather "nature khila raha hai insaan ko"... kinda when you play with a kid, when the child clears one hurdle, you set a level slightly tougher for him. Sometimes you let the child win, but you always know that the plot and rules are yours and whether the child will win or lose depends on whether you want him to win or lose. You conquered cholera, I'll give you different forms of cancer... Ok.. You have cure for TB... here play with AIDS.. ok what about this and that flu or hey have fun with lifestyle diseases and pollution related ones. You should never feel bored... I'll be there for you :)

We have reduced our immune system to a level that a person sneezing in Mexico scares us out. Some wise man once said "The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century." ( William Lyon Phelps.. whoever he is :)). Was certainly wise to notice that. We are so scared of everything and everyone that we live half lives. But thats another story.

At the same time, those bloody virus have had ages of mutation to fight against all our antibiotics. They are spineless... literally and figuratively. I wonder that in the long run these brainless characters are going to win against man, who sits at the top of pyramid.

We forget that when the end comes, its going to be the end of humans not the end of nature or earth. It may be a temporary pause for nature, not the end. We will ruin everything and then die ourselves. And then from a tiny sprout somewhere, a tree will grow... somewhere a lost bird will sing again. But there wont be any human being ruining that.

The nature just watches man play with everything... his immune system, other species, his environment. Probably thinking how long it should let the kid play and then pack up the game.

And it really doesn't matter at all

Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a God.

Another blast in Delhi, one killed, 18 injured.... and many more to follow. My reaction, I just call up those I care for in Delhi , tell them about the blasts, ask them to stay in and watch the news. I wish that people who I know and I can't connect to are safe. I am not bothered too much about all those I don't know.

Its not that I am unsympathetic towards the blast victims. I am sure if I see someone or hear about someone I am going to feel sad. But other than that its just numbers. And numbers baffle me. X number of blasts in one Indian city. Y number of such cities. Z number of casualties in each of the blasts. After some time, its going to fade from my memory, precedence taken by some piece of crap. May be new MTV Roadies or may be office work or may be some good shopping offer. Yeah life moves on... It always does.

Have we accepted terror, violence ,death and injury as a part of life. Do we now think that insanity and irrationality will always be there. We just hope, wish or rather BELIEVE that its not gonna happen to us. That my near ones and I are always going to be lucky enough never to get caught in the chaos. And rest is all fine. Its fine as long as its not happening to you. Is it indifference, callousness, helplessness or inhumanity. I have seen some animal species gather and fight against a more powerful enemy to save each other. Yeah we ain't animals any more.

Its not that i can do anything about it. Its not that I can do anything about anything in general. I can just wish, hope and do the utterly trivial things. Things that are good, but of such small size that they do not matter. Its like clearing the way for an ant to carry sugar in the midst of riots or an approaching cyclone. Does saving power mean anything when we can't save lives. What difference does it make if city streets are clean or not, when the minds are not? But then... keep up the good work ;)

Makes me wonder...

Second Law of Thermodynamics: Entropy of the universe always increases.

Entropy, a measure of chaos or disorder of a system will always increase, no matter what the process is.

I sometimes feel that the laws of physics are universal laws , laws which are applicable to society as well. That the disorder or chaos in the society will always increase.That the world is and will always go downhill no matter what you do.

In order to say that we have progressed, we need to define the parameters. Yes, per capita income has increased, so has the average life expectancy. Yes, we can communicate and move anywhere on the planet and claim to be living a more comfortable life. But does it also mean a more fulfilling life? Isn't it so that more people commit suicide then earlier.Inspite of having a great "connectivity" isn't it so that people know much less about people who were once close to them? There are more drug addicts than before. Is there some void in our lives that we try to fill with momentary pleasures?

Supposedly, with the growth in technology, moral growth should have also taken place. If the size of brain increased and so did his capabilty to think logically, why hasn't man realised a few basic facts for so long? Why is it so that still people do not take responsibilty of their actions. People give bribe to every person possible from policeman to passport agent and still wonder why is India amongst the most corrupt countries of the world. You litter on streets and blame the Govt. or the classic statement "Sab aisa hi karte hai" and still say "Cleanliness is next to Godliness".

Some people bear children without knowing whether they can nurture and take care of them, whether they have the time, energy and money to raise a kid. Some others pass on their values (or lack of them) to their children and others around them, who further add their own mess. Everybody takes away more from the society than what one can ever pay... And that is how the entropy increases!!!

Give me a reason

Its one of those days... well...those means those when I can't avoid thinking.

I have been wondering for some time now, what differentiates one person from another. Certainly, their intelligence, hard work, capabilities, attitude does. And being a great Ayn Rand fan, I do want to believe that you get to make your destiny... that you are not bound by circumstances... that except for what is within you, nothing else matters. But now I am forced to think if it is actually so?

I watched "Slumdog Millionaire" recently and saw the ground reality. Not that I was unaware totally, but somehow I could close my eyes... everytime. It hurt initially when I saw Mumbai slums, but two years of stay at M'bai and I could deal with it. I went to a poor area in Delhi (call it slum) recently and the cocoon that I had built around myself was shattered. There were kids running around, laughing, giggling, playing in mud.. unaware and careless. There were parents also laughing and giggling... unaware and careless, that they have kids somewhere. That there are humans struggling for scarce resources of planet.. food and compassion, humans who are here because they brought them to life, humans they should be accountable for... their kids. And yet no body cares.

I am sure that among these kids there would be hundreds who are far more intelligent and sharp than me and all of them are certainly much more hard working. Yet, I work in an air conditioned office while they beg on streets. Why? I don't think it can be solely due to attitude. Is it possible for someone who has 5 siblings, a drunkard father and hapless mother to see life as we see it? If you have always seen violence and cruelty as a way to resolve things, does there remain a way for you to see things otherwise? If you have never been told importance of education, can you just pick this up one fine day and get degrees? If you have to wonder whether you are getting the next meal or not, can you worry about books and pen? I guess not. Its just luck by chance. Where you are born decides quite a lot of things on earth.

We crib that the meal was not good, missed a movie, shoe of my size is not available. While there are kids there, who do not know if they are eating tonight or not. Or if they would be beaten again. Doesn't our cause of worry seem really trivial. But this is how life on earth is designed. Not fair. Not fair at all!!!

Across the universe

Again first things first. The post is my personal opinion. I do not intent to change any body's view on anything , religion, faith or preferences.

Imagine a scene some thousands (or may be hundreds) of years from now. Imagine an alien kid talking to his mom. Oops sorry imagine there are aliens and imagine they have parents and that they talk.

Kid: Mom!!!! Our teacher told that the homo sapiens specie on planet earth had the most paradoxical end. And that we don't yet know what happened. Please tell me more.

Mom: Ok kid. listen. There is a planet many million light years from here. It is called earth. Earth had lots of natural resources. Much greater than present on any of the planets known to us. It had several thousand species, all very different from each other, bound by a common thread that they needed the planet for their survival. For many years they lived in harmony. There was one specie that eventually became more intelligent than the rest. It was called Homo Sapiens or humans. It understood how it can use the resources to a more effective use. And he began using it. But, it was a mean, selfish, cruel specie. He began exploiting the planet and resources more than he should have. Several species of earth became extinct because he killed them.

Kid: Killed them ALL???? There are several thousand organisms of every specie. He killed them all?????

Mom: yeah kid. Thats what he did. He killed them all. But the story does not end there. He was not just cruel to other specie. He had a strange wiring in his system. Humans fought with themselves too. Humans were divided into many groups. He split himself over land on earth, he called that countries. He split himself into belief systems, he called it religion. He also split based on color of skin, based on race and based on sexual preferences. And he was intolerant to all who had a difference of opinion. Inspite of having everything on the planet, humans were never at peace within themselves. After being the supreme specie on earth for several thousand years, humans had created a hole in their protective air layer, called ozone. He was responsible for extinction of several species. He was responsible for some irrevocable changes to his environment, like the temperature of planet getting raised by several degrees. And he had developed some very powerful weapons, to be used on other humans. He was always insecure though he was the most powerful being on earth.

Kid: But mom how did such a strong and intelligent specie come to an end. Did some other specie kill them all, as they had killed others????

Mom: Oh no kid... No specie rose against them. Scientists have put several theories and they are studying to know what killed them.

May be he died because the planet's environment had changed drastically and he could not live there. And no near by planet was fit to be his habitat.

May be he just killed himself. They had a big war and all died. The losers during the war and the winners immediately after that. This war could have any reason. Humans were never short of reasons to fight. It could have been over natural resources or boundaries or religion or any other equally irrational reason.

But, there is another theory. It required one male and one female to ensure continuation of specie. May be they started by not wanting the pain and effort it takes to raise a kid. Females and males in the beginning wanted their life too much and wanted to enjoy it fully to spend it raising a kid. And also, males start liking males more and females started liking females more. So, they could not have a next generation. And finally they lost the ability to reproduce.

Kid: But mom!!!!

Mom: yeah kid... all species know what they need to ensure that they live. They know that they have to eat, drink, save themselves from predators and reproduce. Scientists still don't know what killed humans, they say they can find HOW human specie ended but they can never find WHY it did? They say that humans themselves did not understand themselves. If humans would have understood why they are doing what they did, it would have never become extinct in the first place.

Kid: Mom... Its so sad.

Mom: yeah kid. This is the greatest paradox. This was the most hilariously sad end of the most intelligent fool known.

Like humans do

Vande mataram- I think we should change it to "TwoDay Mataram"( Vande- One day... Got the joke????) Well.. after all our river of patriotism shows its holy presence twice a year, republic day and independence day, unless some "Abhinav Bindra" upsets the precarious balance. So, saying OneDay mataram is like halving our feelings. Not fair at all.

So, it was independence day recently and like all patriotic citizens, I slept till afternoon, sent "Happy Independence Day" messages , wished my friends, read the tricolored newspaper, cheered the Olympic Gold winner Indian, said "Proud to be an Indian" a zillion times, shopped and slept. I pay my taxes on time, I do not break any rules (assuming giving bribes to a few people here and there is not a rule), I buy Indian stuff(and also the cheaper Chinese things) and I also stand when the national anthem is being played, if I happen to be there by any chance. And yeah, like all ideal Indians I blame the Govt.s, past, present and future for our present state of sports, education, crime and corruption. Also, I do not vote, so , the govt. does not reflect my opinions, this way I am free to blame others who vote. All in all I am a proud ideal Indian citizen, may be spineless, but ideal.

Of all human emotions, gratitude has shortest life. So, true. I am a citizen of an independent country, I can do anything that I want to, choose any vocation, settle at any place, raise my voice against the Govt. There were people who laid their lives so that we can breath in a free nation. And we thank them by singing songs once in a while. I can not recognize more than 5 of top freedom fighters and nation builders and I say I am thankful to them. I do not remember what exactly they did, but I know they must have done something, thats why we had a chapter in history book.

We all say, things are not going right. Nobody is doing anything. Its all going downhill. People are starving, people are killing each other, people are fighting... bad politics..bad people... bad society. But do we ever attempt to change anything? Have we ever thought of repaying back, of working for those who might not be as privileged as us, of doing anything constructive? I guess, that should have been the way of thanking those who gave us what we have today. Of saying "Happy Independence day".

Praying for time

I am Time: And I have destroyed countless beings, even the Gods who preside over this universe. I am the consumer and you are our food. This relationship is not based on mutual likes or dislikes.

-Yoga Vashishta

I have always considered this statement as the most arrogant, self-righteous, and an epitome of naked truth. Yes, time is totally relentless, unforgiving and impartial. It won't stop while you were sleeping... for years, it won't care whether you are a king or a pauper, we are all given a fixed amount, neither a micro second more nor less than anyone else. Time doesn't mind you’re whiling it away, squandering it off, but it just won't repay anything back to you. It’s your money, spend it the way you want to.

No matter how great the powers of any conqueror were, they could never win against their greatest enemy… time. All are now rulers of History, gone by days, prey of time.

Sometimes I wonder why some people become what they become? How do people reach the heights they reach? Why is it so, that two people born on same dates, often in same conditions turn out so different from each other? Yes agreed they had different attitudes, vision and thought, but also, they use their time differently. Whether you invest time on your own growth or on gossips, it’s your decision. Soon, it becomes a habit and ultimately decides where you reach when your time here is over. Guess, time management classes are not that bad.

Involuntarily, I also started thinking about affect of time on relations. "Those were the best days of my life"... Apparently best days are always "WERE"... a thing of past.

No matter how great anything be, it gets swept by tides of time. All those "Best pals" of schools, college, become past. Great evenings together stay only in snaps, lovely feelings just become scribbling in diaries... to be remembered, never to be relived. You leave college, switch jobs, change cities, get married, start a family.... in short you get busy and trapped in your own world. And with every change in your situation and surroundings, you change relations. Past close friends becoming just an entry in the phone book with time.

Well that’s time; it will heal your heart breaks. It will take you out of the sorrow of failure. It will take you to the heights you worked for. It will change things, it will make impossible possible; but it will not wait. Yes, you can make up for lost time, and no you can NOT always do it. Yes, it gives you a second chance and no it does NOT always give that. Yes we can make up for all the mess we have done, but no we can not bring the extinct species back on earth. Do what ever… don’t take time for granted.

Nobody knows

First things first:
Disclaimer: The ideas, opinions and views mentioned are totally of the author(thats me!!!) and have no relation with whosoever is publishing it. The author(thats again me) has no intentions to defame/ disgrace any one. Any damage caused is deeply regretted :)

I was watching TV tonight( nothing unusual there) and watching MTV Splitsvilla( again nothing unusual), and it made me think( now...there is a catch) where are we headed? As i was analysing various popular serials, MTV Splitsvilla, Roadies, Yo mama, it made me think what exactly are we doing? What message are we passing to the society?(if any) and if the sole motive of the channels is to make money( which according to me is justified), what we as thinking and rational beings are interested in?

For the uninitiated... I found that there are various Reality shows, where to succeed you have to be bitchy, play dirty politics and screw whoever you can. In short, if you have any morals, any bit of conscience, stay home. Stay home, stay away... and if you come, be prepared to get to the lowest level that you can think of( if you still have some sense of high and low present).

And then we have some great news channel, feeding the public, what exactly it deserves... junk..crap..story..gossip. If I am so interested in the love life of Paris Hilton or Tom Cruise... that is news. If I want gossip as to who said what to whom, who is sleeping with whom and how some unknown kid from some unreachable land is said to possess some unvanquishable powers... I will get exactly that. Served as breaking news..prime time...

I donot blame Government, afterall.. we chose our leaders and we have a democracy. I cannot blame channels, they have all rights to say what they think. And this is a game of demand and supply. They'll show what earns money. They never said they are doing charity. So, they are playing a perfectly fair game. Well, then who do I have problem with?

I have a problem with myself, with us as viewers... as promoters of crap. Since, we want gossips on front page of newspaper, news that needs attention gets lost... somewhere on the left corner of page 17. Since, we want to see pretty girls bitching, young kids screaming obscenities at the top of their voices, this is what we get. Exactly that. Someday... may be US will wage a war against or just annex Iran and we'll miss the news... happy at Angelina Jolie delivering babies.

I guess there is some sort of hidden desires or subdued criminal instincts present in us, that makes certain choices for us. May be Mr. Jekyll can't come out wide in open, but nevertheless has its time vicariously. Or may be, we have just sense of direction left, not the sight of goal. We know, that we have to grow in life... make money.. and we forget that the final aim might be something like, to be at peace with oneself. A state of knowing, accepting and being proud of who we are. A sense of pride in the morals and values that we stand by or should stand by.

I once thought what I would like to do, if complete human race gets embodied as one person, so that you can make sense of and talk to the whole world in one go. I guess I would like to hold him by his collar and shake him widely. Asking him to awaken... he is sleep walking. He is moving for sure, but Where he is going, what he is doing, he doesn't know. He needs one violent jerk.

Knocking on heaven's doors

She was begging on your name... supposedly carrying things that should remind people of your existence, asking for one meal on your name... He was talking to your picture that he carried in his hand. He was talking as if you were standing right there, listening, talking and caring. As if your presence there, was undoubted, beyond questions and more real than all others standing there. And it was a busy railway station. No matter what he called you, Bhagwan, Allah or Christ, he would not trust anybody who told him that you might not care, might not even exist. I don't know what they have faced in life or are going to face in future. But I know, that they and lot of others depend on you.

When you created humans, you would have considered us as the wisest specie on earth. Capable of intelligent thought, capable of right actions, capable of growth and advancement. You would have thought that we would take care of each other, our planet and other organisms. That we would device and accept a morally correct and unanimously acceptable system of living. That we would know that no system based on hurting others can be successful or give satisfaction to anyone.That we would grow together, understand and appreciate the gift that you have given us.

Do you now think that you overestimated us? That we have failed miserably? Were you so disappointed by us that you gave upon this planet and never thought about giving any specie intelligence ? Do you still care for humans?

I have no reason to discard the thought that you still care, yet I have no logic as to why you should still. May my logic fail. Amen!!!

I want to thank you

I believe God has reasons for everything. He did not put anything without reason, without purpose. Atleast this is what I like to believe. And this is true for all the situations you lend in, all the blunders you do and all the people you meet.

May be we don't realize immediately, why we are in soup or sometimes we feel like shouting out in open "Why Me". But, there is some purpose and that has to be trusted, even if we ain't fully convinced about its reason. And I have realized that there is some reason behind all jerks put in our lives. A reason, that might not be self evident, but is nonetheless there.

Today, I just want to thank all the jerks that came my way, whom I could never say anything. Thank You, Thanks for teaching me patience. Thanks for teaching me that in long run you don't matter and in short run you don't deserve my time. For letting me know, that there are people far more worthy and important in my life who deserve my time and attention. That I should not be wasting any of those on you. That I should just ignore you in my life. Thanks for teaching me priortizing. I understand that you have been spreading around all those negative energies, so that I can learn to counter them on my own. I realize the sacrifice you have made just so that I become more mature. You have taught me to live with or without the support of others. You planned to take all the people around, so that I live without assistance. And lo... I guess I have fulfilled your motive. You have helped me become much stronger than the person who met you in the beginning and I can never thank you enough. So, heres one.....

Thanks for sacrificing your good karma, by planning evil for me. Just so, that I can cope up much better with situations and people in future.

I have begun to trust God's plan.

What I have done...

"These are interesting times. We don't trust the government, we don't trust the legal system, we don't trust the media, and we don't trust each other! We've undermined all authority, and with it, the basis for replacing it! It's like a six-year-old's dream come true!"- Bill Watterson

“The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.” - Robert M. Hutchins quote

And this is not just for democracy, this is true for all good things possible. Honesty, truth, virtue, reason, morals, all can die, not because of antipathy but because of apathy. Not because we want to be evil, but because we don't care. We simply ain't bothered. We are too preoccupied to walk fast and fast ahead of each other that we ain't seeing where we are headed to. The civilization that started its development millions of years ago, when man first thought of living in groups, and has taken slow and steady steps towards growth will not lose to a powerful enemy, but to a weak one. An enemy nobody thought capable of harming anyone.

As I look around, I see how selfish we have become. How we don't think about anyone but ourselves. What does not directly harm me, doesn't bother me. I am blissfully ignorant that there are places where people don't have basic necessities. I casually ignore all the rape, murder, injustice stories. We have almost 50% reservation now, but how does it bother my sleep? I have my educational degree. We can't say for sure who the president is, but ask the cricket score... and boy, you have an answer. Ask about views on policies of government ,long and short term needs of country.. and peace prevails, ask about the reviews of latest movie and you can have a debate. Whether the world in general progresses or not that is for someone else to see, I should get what I want. "Deserve" the word belonged to past. Hook Or Crook is the new mantra.

I don't like the general trend of society now. I have seen degradation in the world and apathy in me. People actually think that cutting corners can take you for long; that moving on someone's back can take you anywhere, that dirty politics and bitching can substitute hard work, dedication and capability. Do they actually think that whether you work or not, you can reap benefits if you just make people believe so. Everybody seems to be playing the great game of pretense. Short term goals are all that one sees. Money, fame, power is the game.

What we lack in quality we try and compensate by quantity. Since, people live a shallow life, they try to feed their vanity. As if showing off all the money and matter bought by unscrupulous means can give you peace, if that is what you seek. As if flaunting a new girlfriend/ boyfriend every week can raise your level in some way. If you cannot look straight into the eyes of person in the mirror, it doesn't make much sense anyway.

What we do in our personal lives, same gets reflected in the international politics. Iraq , Palestine, Tibet are not to be talked by anyone except the respective countries. If there is a bully, so be it. How does it matter to me? People are dying from hunger in Africa and by war in Afghanistan. Does it affect me? No it doesn't.

And who is to blame for this? None but us. I believe that we have failed in many ways. We have been unable to pass right values. In our haste to pass the "Money-making" lesson, we skipped the moral classes. We have believed that end justifies the means. No It doesn't. It can't.

The universe is completely balanced and in perfect order.You will always be compensated in full for everything you do.

You will get what you deserve in long run. Nothing more, none less. And as someone said "Sometimes your ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end it is only with yourself."

There are things that can be taken casually, and there are things that can't be. And integrity is one thing that can't be. No matter how high you rise, if you are not at peace with yourself, it is all futile.

Happy Women's Day

It was womens day, one very good friend of mine was getting married. We were late from her party, waiting for my other friend's parents to pick us up. We were standing in a pretty illuminated area of a pretty decent locality of a rather crime free town, Jaipur. A bunch of 4-5 girls, all decked up, chatting loudly, giggling, enjoying and generally looking inside passing cars to see if they were my friends parents.

We noticed that almost all cars passing by did slow down, and all bikers did turn around once. But too cheerful and too used to these, we continued in our chatter. Well... If you are a female then you are expected to bear the fact that men can look on you as a commodity if and when they please ; that they can stand right in front of you and analyze all aspects of your body ; that they can pass lewd comments once in a while and you ain't supposed to react. We all have been living out of the protected world build by our parents since a long time. So, these things do not usually bother.

We were just waiting for uncle-aunty to come, when a car stopped right in front of us. In there were two elderly Gentle(?)men . Drooling they asked if they can drop us somewhere. I sternly asked them to leave. But they weren't in a mood to let go so easily. They asked us further why we ain't coming along with them. We again asked them to leave. Not shouting on them, but still more strongly. Finally, after some more thoughts and time later, they left, but not before having said all the crap and sick things that they could think of.

We were all silent for a long time after that. All lost in themselves.

Why is it so, that in spite of not doing anything wrong, we had to hear. While they left laughing at us, we lost our peace. And they weren't some college kids whom you can blame for misbehaving, they were two grown up men. They must be having their family somewhere, their kids waiting for daddy to come after a long day at work.. living an ideal life .. or so others believe.

There has often been a hue and cry over women wearing provocative attire, hence they were molested. Why is it so that women are always blamed? Why can't men understand their limits? why do we tolerate so much of indecency? why ain't their stricter rules against eve-teasing.

There is something drastically wrong somewhere. We have failed in teaching the right values to kids. Somehow, men have failed to understand that not all females are available. We have come out of stone age, when there wasn't any concept of marriages and monogamy. It has taken ages for human society to reach the level it is now. There is a definite difference between human society and animal kingdom. I believe that somehow men have begun choosing the animal group they mentally belong to.

Guilty or Not

Paris Hilton--- what comes to ur mind??? A wild crazy socialite.... a hedonist... some one who is living life on the fast lane and enjoying every moment of it..someone who is a bad influence on kids.... true.. mostly.

Anybody who is known for reasons ranging from wild parties to sex tape and pet dog and tantrums cannot be sad . Every moment of her life caught on tape is screaming out... "I don't give a damn.. I don't care..."

She is young, beautiful, rich, famous, independent. She can do anything that she feels like, and has been testing the limits since a long time. What else can one demand? But somehow I feel that she is troubled.

We often think that those who have everything that we lack should be happy, that they have to be happy. But I disagree. We do not realize what they lack. Would success be so coveted if there weren't any failures? Doesn't anything that is in excess loose its worth?

We derive pleasures from simple things in life. From an unexpected hike in salary, to a good buy, to meeting some old friend after a long time ;all give us happiness. What if all relations of your life are replaced by money? And most of the people who come close to you are after your money? What if there is nothing that you are looking forward to? What if you have everything except love?

If the basic judgment of right and wrong are not well in place, if the sense of ethics and limits are not taught from the beginning, it is difficult to accept them later on. If nobody stops you from doing anything, if everything that you do becomes a style statement then how do you decide that you can be wrong at some point?

But then again, if there is nothing that gives you happiness. If you have grown above simple joys of life, then it is natural for you to search for happiness at the next level, ethical or not, legal or not. I get happy, if I find a solution after a lot of thinking; when I go home ; when I hear some old favorite song suddenly. Talking to old friends cheers me up, no matter what my mood be. I can't hurt someone, because I will feel guilty later on. If all of these are taken away from me and replaced by money, I might go on the downward spiral as well. If you lack the sense of guilt and values, you can do anything that you want. If simple available things stop giving you pleasure, won't you seek it somewhere else?

I believe she and many like her are just a victim, a prey of abundance.

Welcome to the jungle

Sometimes I wonder why do things and people change change beyond recognisation. is it so that nothing ever is reliable or is there something that u can bank on. something ..anything???? something that u can take for granted, something that u can lean back on?

i guess there is nothing that u should rely on. love it, enjoy it, bask on...till it lasts. u never know when suddenly the sets change, when every thing moves on.

i have seen the closest of frenz go apart. sometimes its lack of time, sometimes its change of priorities, sometimes its lack of inclination to sort out things. things just pile up and up, but the end result is same, u have fewer things that u know would last for sometime. does everything in life comes with an expiry date??? sometimes u can read the date, sometimes u can't. but u r being naive if u think that its going to stay. Nothing lasts forever... this should be the first lesson in school.

the only person who stays with u forever is the one in mirror. u come alone in this world, u leave alone. along the path, u meet people and u believe that they are walking with u. but its not so, its just that u are going the same way for sometime. as soon as the reason to walk together would not be there, u would change the path. no regrets, no guilts, only pain for some time. nobody is guilty, none is wrong, its just the way of life. "All men to themselves".

Man is a social animal, my social science taught me when i was a kid. Social or not, man still is an animal. Live your life, your own way. Welcome to the jungle!!!!

Kitna badal gaya insaan

ek matka kulfi... bought from amul .. and to my amazement instead of the mitti ka matka it was a plastic one. colored in earth colors... not that i am one particular enviromentalist.. but still it led me to thinking how far we have come..
today is rakhi as well.. a day traditionally celebrated with enthusiasm and demands and anticipation. I remember when we were kids my brother and I used to fight a lot... on why should only i get a gift on rakhi... this day used to be so special... now that we are far away... we are in separate offices and cities.. working for money and not bothering ab't many other so called smaller things...
just some year back when i was in school.. i used to send rakhi to all cousins and uncle. writing well being letters..even if just the formal ones and then calling up to know whether my rakhi reached on time... man..things have changed. though i still send the rakhi to my first cousins, the number of cousins expecting and getting has reduced. from a thing that had no questions on whos gonna get it..it has become a thing of choice.
and worse still... readymade rakhi.. no pains.. no issues.. nothing.. just book it online ..121...151..anything and they'll send it on ur behalf the traditional tika and naariyal attached. the only thing missing , perhaps the feelings... emotions and personal touch... but who cares for uncountable things???! guess we have come to paisa faik tamasha dekh age... u can buy anything...
from pickles like ur mom.. to dhol and shahnaai ki CD for ur wedding.. and morning chants of gayatri mantra... sab readymade..... no trouble.. no guilt...
i guess still i do get nostalgic sometimes.. i still don't think that anyone can beat my mom when it comes to samose.. i still can't believe that the tel-maalish sessions of gappe and head massage can be given by anyone other than my roomies... and that i think sending this e-rakhi is worse than sending no rakhi at all... atleast u don't fool urself that u have done ur part.

EmbarrassedIndians

Hi.. Are you from India?
Yes.. And you? Which part?
I'm from Delhi? You?
Pune..

And the whole conversation can continue in a language other than ours for hours without realizing so...
Why is it so that we Indians are always embarrassed of our identity? That we are the ones to hide the fact that we are Indians as much as we can? Why is it so that so many foreign models can have interpretors on the world ramp, but an Indian model cannot reach there unless she has decent polished Western English accent? Why do we treat anything Western as "To be copied"? Why do we think that those who cannot speak in English are unpolished and unworthy? Why do we rate ourselves as Second Rate Citizens?

We are the ones who would praise anything and anybody as long as it is not ours. We follow all the rules of any country other than ours and then say Indians donot follow rules. Asked to express our views about India we say India is poor, Indians are illeterate, places are polluted and people are superstitious. As if we ain't a part of it. As if we would be judged as someone who is not related to it. We fail to mention that we are a part of the oldest culture. That when West was hunting in woods, India was teaching at Taksheela. That India is one of the fastest growing economies of the world. That India has given world basics of arithmetics and art. We casually forget Gandhi, Tagore and C V Raman.

We don't realize one thing. We are what we are "Indians" and that is what we would be judged on. There is no point in hiding yourself. Unless there is self respect, there cannot be respect from any other quarter.